Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
