How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
