No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
