So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
How's work?
Spinning.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
