"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he puts the penis in happiness.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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