it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
only you would photoshop your dick
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
