There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
