he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
