yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
