its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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