So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
