Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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