Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
