i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
