Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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