Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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