Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
