that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Man, jail baloney is awful.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Randomize
