you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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