love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just tell him i said nine months
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
