would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
