He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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