if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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