to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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