I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
