Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
