Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
