Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
