pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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