Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
