I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
