Are we in a gay sports bar?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
