Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
