you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
