Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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