I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
