I'm eating all of the evidence.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
