I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
