that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
