this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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