my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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