"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i think i have two assholes
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
