remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
