The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
