Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
