protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Let's get the cat blown out
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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