apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
