That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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