your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
