Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
false alarm, still single
Randomize
