Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
