She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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