True but thats because hes a fetus.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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