Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
