hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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