so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
