Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
