I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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