ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
